The Unknown

Today was a weird sort of emotional day (inside anyways). For those of you who don't know, I've been having health issues since about March, which has resulted in the removal of my Gallbladder and various other tests (MRI, Ultrasound, X-rays, etc) that have tried to determine why so much of my left side just doesn't want to feel normal.

It's been about 2 1/2 months since my surgery and while I thought that all my pain just might disappear after going under the knife, it just hasn't been so. I just read Ben's blog and I have been reminded that our lives are God's not ours. He is in control and he knows all of our days and what we are going through. I have had days of fear, days of peace, and days where I just want to break down and cry, along with days of no patience with the boys. It's hard to go through month after month and not know why my body just doesn't feel right.

So today was a CT scan. All I can say is that it was such a scary feeling that it made me laugh. Bryan would second that one only because he says that when I get nervous, I laugh or try to make things funny. I guess it's my way of dealing in a way.

Well they make you drink 30 ounces (you read right) of this barium liquid that is trying to disguise itself as some sort of orange drink. I do not like orange drinks and it had an aftertaste of metal. Gag me. Then as I'm getting ready to go in, the nurse tells me that they are going to pump iodine in my arm. Thank goodness I didn't know that beforehand....I'd have been nervous. So the iodine is put in my IV and let me tell you....the ODDEST feeling I've ever had. The warmth started at my neck and went down into my body. I mean I could literally FEEL the line of where it was going. When it got down to my abdomen, it almost felt like I wet my pants. Then they took about 3 pictures of my abdomen, and it was done. UGH. I'm glad it's over, but it's the waiting for the results that are nerve-wracking. I hope no one calls and I can go to my doctor's appointment on Monday as usual. But, I'm not in control and it's not up to me.

So, it may be on to more tests, but for now, I'm waiting. Lord give me the faith to trust in you during these uncertain times.... Thank you Ben, for your words of encouragement. Your faith in your situation is uplifting and so amazing.

A Trip Fulfilled

Let's see....for about 8 years now we've wanted everyone in our family to come share some boat time with us. Because of pregnancies, children, social activities and numerous other reasons, we have never done it until now. We all met at Lake Elsinore to hang out as a family and ride the boat. It was actually a beautiful day, a little hot perhaps, but still beautiful. I can't say the same about the murky Elsinore waters, but that's a different topic. All the kids loved riding the boat and feeling the wind in their hair, however there was a little disappointment that we hadn't brought the skis. Next time Riva!

As you can see, all the kids (including Lynnea) wanted to be in the water and swimming. Our life jackets were well loved by the Lee children as it made their swimming time a lot easier and they didn't have to worry about drowning. Austin, as usual, stayed on the shore rolling around in the waves.

Bryan, Riva, Mikayla, Tyler, Ethan and dad after one of their rounds of the lake.

Sisters and best friends! It was fun to just sit under the EZ Up and chat a little while (albeit short because we were constantly having to take care of toddler issues). Thanks, Riva for bringing your family out to see our family!

Mikayla donning a life jacket and loving the lake waves.

Austin decided to try my hat on for a while. It doesn't look too bad. He wore it more than I did that day! After we all left each other to go home, Bryan and I drove the boat to the other shore to bring it out of the water. When he went to lift the motor, it refused to budge. We had the same issue the last time, but today it seemed to be working fine. Well, he and I both maneuvered it into place, lifting it onto the metal rod that holds it up. We thought we were fine for now, but after driving about a mile to get gas, we heard honking behind us. This guy and his wife pull up to my side of the car and said "your outboard motor is dragging." Those are words that boat owners do NOT want to hear. Sure enough, when we pulled over, the motor was down and had about 3/4" gone off of one of the blades. It must have hit a bump and because there was nothing holding it up inside, it lifted and fell. So.....my amazing husband is in the process of fixing the inner workings and now he's bidding on a very expensive part on Ebay with a semi-low (comparatively) price - hopefully to pay less than what you can get it at the boat repair store.... So no bidding on a boat part if you see Bryan's name on it!!! ha ha!!! So we're boatless for a while.

Catch Up

Well the summer is over (even though you wouldn't know it with the weather) and we're still doing summer activities. Go figure. One of the things that I've been doing over the summer months is re-organizing and getting rid of things that I don't need anymore. One of the eye-sores of my house was my front (welcoming) window. Ya - well it was so coated in grime that it hadn't been "welcoming" since we moved into the house. The poor little skinny window really got none of my attention...until the amazing seamstress Riva entered my house armed with her sewing machine. Since putting a blind there was not going to work, I decided I'd do a curtain that I wouldn't open, but would look really pretty. We shopped for fabric with all kids in tow (except for Mikayla) and I managed to find a really nice one that would go. After gasping at the price ($40/yard) and not paying that thanks to my coupon AND the fact that I didn't get a yard, I had the bare bones and Riva put it together for me that day. Doesn't it look gorgeous? I think so. Thank you Riva!!

My new curtain from the outside (it had better light).

Another thing that's been in our house for many years is this workout system. It occupied Austin's room (which used to be my workout room) and has sat there unused for the amount of years I've had a gym membership. I could never use it because if he's napping, well, the system is IN there so I can't exactly use it during that time. So, we decided to put it in the upper garage storage. Bryan spent a whole day putting new wood up so we could get more up there. Then, when moving it downstairs, we thought....let's just try to sell it and if no one wants it, we'll store it. No more than a few hours later, these guys bought it off of us. We didn't get a ton of money, but I feel better if they can use it and feel they got a good deal. Whew...no more storage!!

Bryan joined our church's softball league this year so it's been fun to watch the games when I can make it with the boys. We learned last week that skipping naps to attend is NOT the ideal situation. I had a 4 year old sobbing for I don't even know how long....over nothing. Ok...we need a nap next time. Their team is actually quite good and Bryan enjoys playing (unless it's at 2:45 and it's blazing hot).

There are a few parks in our area that have water areas in them. I took the boys to one after Ethan's preschool the other day. Austin is a little timid, but Ethan gets right in. Austin is always telling me, "Mommy, don't look at my tummy" when I take his shirt off. He's my conservative one - which I never would have guessed. The moronic part of this park is that there is NO shade at all whatsoever even near this water area. In the Inland Empire. Really? Come on. We're in the DESERT people....

Both boys are part of the Cubbie program at our church too. I decided to put Austin in this year even though he's a little young. I thought it would be fun to have them together for a year. He loves learning his verses and is actually very good at it. He was so excited to get his vest and his little tote bag last week. He felt like a big boy.

We celebrated our 10th anniversary (my how time flies) along with Bryan's birthday at a place called Blackwood American Grill. MY was the food good. We had Chilean Sea Bass, Calamari, and a yummy Pecan, Gorgonzola green salad. For dessert, they brought us two plates, each signifying the different things we were celebrating that night. It was so thoughtful of them and we had an amazing dinner. Thank goodness for coupons!! As you can tell by the picture, the restaurant was very dark and it was romantic. Thank you Wendy for watching the kids for us!!

How Fragile Life Is

As I visited my sister this morning, we were both saddened to hear the news that my cousin's husband, Ben, has been re-diagnosed with the same rare cancer that he overcame several years ago. My heart breaks for him and for Lisa, my cousin. He just this year got an amazing job in Colorado working for a missions organization and is doing what he loves to do. Why does this happen? None of us can even know or comprehend why these things happen. I ask for all of you to keep Lisa and Ben in their prayers as they begin this cancer journey together again.

I was talking to my mom this morning as well, and she brought up the fact that my dad is speaking to their class on James 1. Starting in verse 2 it says, "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him."

Just yesterday I realized, again, how fragile life can be. As I was watching Ethan swim in a friend's pool, he fell off of a boogie board into water that was above his head. Since I haven't given my kids swimming lessons yet (being as how they don't swim very much) he couldn't get his head above water. I jumped in, fully clothed, to rescue him out of the pool. Whew. I thank God that I was there and it wasn't worse. I could have lost a child yesterday. Life is so precious. I have learned that this year throughout all my physical ailments, unknowns, and surgery. I struggle sometimes to trust God as I'm walking through those valleys. A close loved one asked me recently, "How do I fully trust God and how can I KNOW that I'm fully trusting God through these hard times?" I am not the expert and I have no perfect answer, but all I know is that I have my days of sin and doubt where I want to control everything, but then there are the days (or even hours) of perfect peace when I surrender my fears. I know my Saviour lives.

Angels, Dad and Dannie

A few weeks ago we went to the Angel's game against Oakland because Ethan kept talking about how he wanted to go to Angel's stadium. It was SUPER hot and humid...OH MY....but we tried to keep a good attitude after getting there an hour early so we wouldn't have to rush. My GOODNESS we were burning up there. We bought the boys these bouncy Angel balls (since they have SOOO many other balls and baseballs) that they tossed back and forth with their gloves.

By the time they were done throwing their balls back and forth for about 10 minutes, they were already red and sweaty. Now for the $5.50 drink and $10 personal pizza!!

Here was our view. We had sort of given up looking for tickets when I discovered Stubhub.com. You can get discounted tickets from people who have them and want to sell them. I got us a good deal and we were row B so we could see pretty well (except for the fact that I forgot on the 1st base side is where everyone gets to watch the sun set). Once that went down, it was easier to see.

After the game came the fireworks and the boys eagerly wanted to see them. We stayed out way past bedtime, but they were so happy. We have been potty training Austin (who is learning VERY quickly) and I kept asking if he needed to go before the fireworks. "No" was always the answer and against my mommy intuition, I didn't push it. Sure enough, as the lights are fading to start the fireworks, he says he has to go. Bryan had to pick him up and run there and back so he wouldn't miss what he was looking forward to for the last couple hours during the game (after I informed him that no, he wouldn't get a turn to bat). The show was worth waiting for!!

I bought bunk beds back when Ethan was 18 months old, thinking that some day we'd bunk our kids together. Well, that day came last week when we decided it would be fun to have a play room and a sleeping room. It lasted all of 4 days. They cannot sleep in the same room (too much chatter) and they BOTH still need naps. SO....we moved Ethan back into his bedroom, but reorganized the furniture to make it a little different.

One of the big things I've been doing this past week is organizing my entire house!!! It started when I knew I needed to clear out Austin's closet with all his outgrown clothes to give to a charity that was driving by this next Thursday. After that I completely reorganized ALL their toys, my closet, the bedrooms, and above the garage (THAT was hot). I went through my memorabilia, our camping stuff, my clothes, etc. and now we have BAGS to donate. They are going to think that we're moving or something. It feels so good to purge old stuff out that isn't being used or wanted. I'm also redecorating our bedroom (just the walls) to accomodate Bryan's new Master's diploma!!

During all the organization, Austin decided he wanted to try out my old violin. Now I haven't played this in YEARS (can't you tell by the hanging bow hairs?) and it was nostalgic for me to sit there and play it. Austin had a ball doing it, but mostly wanted to play it like a guitar (since that's his favorite instrument these days). I'm surprised my strings aren't popping off.

THEN came Gramps' birthday. We all gathered (Uncle Dannie included) at mom and dad's place and celebrated my dad's birthday. As you can see all the kids wanted in on the 'opening presents' action. We had to keep reminding them that it was Gramps' birthday, not theirs.

My Uncle Dannie stayed with us a couple nights and the boys were in heaven. They were asking when he was coming before they went down for naps the day he came. They just got new swords and were attacking Dannie with them, but they underestimated the pillow that appeared to thwart their attempts. They have so much fun with him and it's always nice to have him stay with us during his business travels in the area (not to mention he made his biggest sale the day he came over to our house....we're so proud).

We went to sushi with him at a new place that we just discovered. It has the BEST baked sushi ever!! If you aren't a 'raw' person, the baked sushi at this place is SOOOO good. It is even better than the raw stuff, even though that's good too. Austin wanted to try an edamame, but decided against it after realizing it was green.....at least that's my take on it.

Ethan was sort of getting the hang of it...with his french fries from McDonald's. My kids are not sushi eaters, so we got yogurt and nuggets to go along with our fish. It works....

Next job.....taking down the workout system and putting it in the attic so we can have play room. THAT will be a job. Of course that will be after our camping trip this weekend to Morro Bay with all Bryan's cousins and his grandparents. I can't WAIT!!!